Miss You Wiley!

Amity and Wiley - about 1997

On December 10^th my oldest cat, Wiley, died while lying on my chest in bed.  His health sure was deteriorating, but he didn’t seem to be suffering.  Old age, but he still purred while lying on my chest.  On the evening of the 9^th he jumped off the couch and his legs gave way.  He just plopped to the floor.  I picked him up and placed him in front of his food bowl, but when I set him down he just dropped like a bag of rags.  I knew it was only time before he would go.  I had scheduled to have him put to sleep on the 12^th, because I knew if he made it that long it was too long.

 

When I went to bed he was lying in the living room on the floor next to the chair I sit in.  At 3:00am I got up to go to the bathroom.  He was lying on the floor in front of the bedroom door.  He must have mustered up as much strength as he could to try and crawl into the room to be with me.  He was still alive…barely, so I picked him up and had him laid on my chest.  I was up for three hours petting and kissing him.  At about 7:15 am I could tell his body became lifeless.  He was gone.  I was sad, but had a sense of relief that he was no longer weak and frail. 

 

I didn’t cry.  I didn’t even tear up.  He had been with me for 19 years and I knew he had such a wonderful life.  All the way from Royal Oak, to the purchase of our condo in Douglas (he and his sister were named after the cross-streets in Douglas, Wiley and Amity), on to the Kirby House and then the “after Kirby House” life.  I was glad he had a couple years post-Kirby as he would be up in the apartment at Kirby all day with no human contact.  He was happy, but he would have preferred to be around Ray and me most of the day.  The last two years he has been able to be so much more a part of my daily life as I didn’t have to separate him from “the rest of the house.”

 

Yesterday was a different story.  I started thinking about him and how much I missed him!  I cried twice yesterday.  It’s been quite a while since I’ve cried but I guess I needed to get the emotions of missing him released.  Mondo and Harley seemed to sense something was wrong and came on the bed with me and put their faces up to mine as if to say “what’s wrong?” 

 

Our home is a bit quieter now.  Moscow died in July and now Wiley.  This just means that Mondo and Harley will get all that much more love attention from us!

 

I’m pretty much all ready for Christmas.  Just have a few gifts to wrap.  I have off Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and then I don’t come into work until 1:45pm on Friday!  I’m looking forward to a nice, quiet Christmas. 

 

No recipe today -Merry Christmas

-Jimmy

Inner Peace and Snowball Cookies

"Thanksgiving 2014"

Well here we are, another December has come upon us.  Every day brings a reminder of December 2009.  Five years have now passed and yet it seems like yesterday. 

I’ve still been having trouble with anxiety.  Even with medication and meditation I have still had this trouble with anxiety which keeps me from feeling completely “well.”  It’s like there’s just something inside me that just won’t let it go.  I keep expecting “something” to happen.  I hate it!  On some mornings it’s so bad I get nauseous and sick.  On the outside no one sees it…I hide it well.  And on some counts, when I’m busy doing things it’s not so bad.  But Drew sees it.  He knows, and it’s great to know he’s there for me in this very personal matter.

I think I’m starting to do better.  At least that is what I’ve been telling myself the last three days in which my anxiety level hasn’t been that bad.  I took Harley for a walk last nice.  It was so nice!  It was a very cold evening, but the moon was almost full and I could see it’s reflection on the Kalamazoo River as it peacefully rolled along.  I thought to myself “that is beautiful” and then realized I felt at peace inside.  Maybe that’s what I have been lacking.  Maybe it isn’t actually anxiety that I’m having, but inner peace that I’ve been lacking. 

There is an old hymn titled “It Is Well With My Soul.”  I remember singing as a youth in church.  (Remember, my father was a Baptist Minister, so church was our life!)  The first part of the hymn is “When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.”  I think my walk last night along the river gave me that feeling.  I just may be on to something – I need to have and accept inner peace.  Peace and acceptance of my “lot” – where I am in life right now.

Many times while writing my blog I get an epiphany.  It seems that just writing out my thoughts they sometimes come together as an “ah ha” moment for me.  Today may just be one of those days.

Now on to a recipe!

This weekend “Lakeshore Lodging” is participating in the “Cookie Tour of Inns.”  This event is a fund raiser (this year to purchase a new tree for Saugatuck).  People can buy a ticket and then go from inn to inn or cottage rental or motel, hotel and get a tour and a cookie from a family recipe.  I am making an old traditional cookie that our family always called “Snowball Cookies.”  I think it’s because my grandma only made them at Christmas…and they kind of looked like small snowballs.  They’re also called “Butter Ball Cookies” and other names.  It’s the easiest cooking in the world to make and oh so good!

SNOWBALL COOKIES

Ingredients:

1 cup butter

2 cups flour

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 ½ cups walnuts, chopped

¼ cup sugar

½ teaspoon salt

1 cup powdered sugar

Directions:

1.     Cream butter, sugar, salt and vanilla

2.     Blend in flour and nuts

3.     Scoop and roll into balls

4.     Bake 325° for 22 to 25 minutes

5.     Remove from oven roll into powdered sugar