Don't Ask Me Why - I Just Did

Wow, three weeks since I have posted to my Blog.  Time goes fast.  I have been using my iPad so much lately and it's hard to type long blogs on it.  So, I am on my Netbook right now...and posting to my Blog...obviously.

Things are going well in my life right now.  There are rumors that the Kirby House has sold.  That is not true.  I am pursuing opportunities for my future and as they come to fruition I write about them.  This Blog has been a "God-send" to me.  I have been reading my blog from 2010...and WOW.  How sick and in pain I was three years ago.  It's actually hard to believe that I felt so horrible then.  I mean, I understand it, but I just feel so much more at peace now.  My grief counselor was so fantastic.  I am where I am because of her and all my friends and family.

I have no vacations planned this year.  I am just enjoying the winter "guest free."  Drew, Friedl, Tom and I have been "hanging out" seeing movies, making dinners, etc.  It's been nice.  Soon I will be busy again and wont have the time to enjoy the sleeping in and "playing with friends."

I went to Detroit a couple weeks ago.  Spent four nights at my mom's house, the longest ever!  It was so nice.  Since I went on a weekend I was able to spend time with the WHOLE family.  When I visit during the week someone is always working or school or whatever.  My brother and sister-in-law had dinner on Saturday and we were ALL together.  It was so nice I actually cried.

We have seen some movies...Hobbit, This is 40, Zero Dark Thirty, Hope Springs Eternal, Lincoln, Lincoln the Vampire Hunter, etc.  The one that shocked me the most was "Lincoln the Vampire Hunter."  Drew rented it and I said "you can watch it yourselve, that is stupid."  Well, I sat down and watched it and loved it!  Don't ask me why, I just did. - Jimmy

One Big Happy Family

Well, three years ago today I had Ray's funeral.  It was so beautiful.  The terrible snow storm made a mess for everyone who attended, but I was so impressed by the turn out.  It shows you how much people loved Ray.  I was just watching a video of him I took when he was in the hospital and I took Wiley to see him.  It was so nice to see him, but especially to hear his voice!

Today is also my late brother David's birthday.  He died July 29, 2007.  So it is now coming on the sixth year anniversary of his death. 

I've been feeling quite good about things lately.  I have some stress going on right now, but I've got a plan and a direction.  That makes me feel great.  As I sit here and type, Jack is laying next to me on a stool.  He loves his "daddy!" 

Got most Christmas decorations down.  Just have to take the ornaments off the two trees and get them down.  I will probably do that tomorrow.  Unless I sub. 

I plan a visit to see my mom next week in Detroit.  It will be so nice to see her and the rest of my family.  I haven't seen any of them since this summer. 

The cats are doing great.  They are getting along just fine with Jack.  Even Moscow has quit her "strike" and has come downstairs to sleep with me in spite of Jack being in the room.  Wiley is the best with him though.  He doesn't even mind sleeping next to him.  One big happy family. - Jimmy

Three years

Three years. - Jimmy

I Look Forward To It

Ray sleeping with his cat Callie at his childhood home on Sate Fair Street in Detroit about 1991.

Here it is...December 17, 2012.  Closing in on the third year of my loss.  I just read my blog from 2009 on this date.  Things were not going well.  We kept our faith that God would take care of things.  Although I don't know the answer, I do believe that God did take care of things.  Whatever those "things" may have been. 

I have a new life now.  I have embraced my new life while still holding on to the past with a string right now.  I have hardly any guilt when I feel happy and feel that I have moved on.  I have to move on, not because "Ray would have wanted it" but because I need to do that if I plan to have any sense of a normal life in my future.  I am now seeing a normal life.  I am happy...very happy.  I struggle, with finances, decisions to make, etc.  However, I am happy.

I have my new dog Jack.  Although, with his diabetes (and I am treating it) I think he is starting to go blind.  He can't see things that I practically put right in his face.  He has been bumping into walls.  Not real bad, but I've noticed it.  He is very loving and I will take care of him. 

The cats are doing just great.  Wiley and Jack get along fantastically.  That makes me happy, because Wiley was Ray's favorite (although he would never have admitted it), so if Wiley is happy, I am happy.  Ray loved his cats, as you can see from the picture above with his cat, Callie, in 1991.  Moscow and Mondo have bonded.  Mondo is also starting to "accept" Jack.  He won't get too close to him, but he can now tolerate being in the same room together.  

I will be "home" for Christmas this year.  Last year I was in North Carolina with Friedl and her daughter's family.  It will be nice to be at home.  I will spend Christmas day relaxing with Drew.  I look forward to it.  -  Jimmy

That's My Update

Today I looked back at my blog from two years ago.  It was just too depressing to continue reading.  What a downer!  How could anybody have read my blogs?!

No snow so far.  It's been nice out actually.  In fact, the sun is out right now.

Drew and I found a tree for Christmas.  It's gorgous!  Nine feet tall!  It fills the bay window in the parlor.  Need to finish decorating the house this week.  Looking forward to all the final decorations being up.

I had homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner last night.  Ray's recipe.  It was DELICIOUS!  I'll have leftovers today for lunch.  It's soooo good.

That's my update. - Jimmy

Sort That All Out

Wow, it's been a whole month since I have posted.  I am feeling much, much better now.  Lots of stuff going on right now.

Drew and I went to get a tree for Christmas and the place Ray and I have been going to for years was vacant...closed down.  So, tomorrow we will try to find another place for a tree.

Drew is now fully moved out of his condo in Chicago.  Everything that was left was moved out yesterday.  He plans to go back this week to sell what is left and be done with it.

Jack, my new dog, is doing great.  He is such a sweetie.  The insulin is doing great for him.  The cats are getting along fine with him.

Lots more going on, but I have to sort that all out.  Jimmy

In A Funk

Well, one more day until the election.  Then we can start planning for the next one.  It seems like they start so many years in advance.  Well, I guess they do.  My thoughts are that Hillary will run, otherwise why would she step down as Secretary of State.  They've been in politics their whole lives, so I don't see why she would step down.  Anyway, just my thoughts.

I've really been in a BIG "funk" lately.  I don't want to do ANYTHING.  Only what I have to do.  It's pretty bad.  It's good I have a dog to take for walks or I probably wouldn't even do that.  It takes me all morning just to get out of bed, unless I have guests.  I know why I feel this way and I know what is going on...so no need to worry out there.  I just need to get through it.  I wish I could fast forward my life - but these trails will make me stronger for the next ones in my life.

I took Jack to the Saugatuck Dunes State Park on Saturday.  Walked the trails all the way to the Lake.  He had a blast.  Seeing all the other dogs and people.  We came home and laid on the could and he passed out he was so tired.  I had a full two hours with no one in the house.  NO ONE!  It was complete and utter bliss.  

That's about my update for right now.  -  Jimmy