Happy Halloween

My favorite holiday is upon us.  I will only get about eight trick or treaters, but I always give out the full sized candy bars.  I hate the bags of the mini candy bars that say "fun size."  That is not fun size.  The fun size are the FULL SIZE candy bars...my favorite of which is Snickers!

I've kind of been in a "funk" lately.  Lots of struggles I've been dealing with.  At times I just don't know what I am going to do.  I'm trying my best to trust God, but right now I'm not happy with the journey.  I have felt in such despair I lay in bed most of the day.  Some of it may be just from exhaustion from summer...it's nice to have some down time and free time.  My wonderful friends help get me through.  Their support means a lot.  I still try very hard to enjoy today in spite of my issues.  I really wish I had more business, it would help keep my mind off things and help financially.

Ok, enough about that.  I have decided to start Jack on insulin shots.  It should make him feel better.  I found out it's not that expensive and I want to take care of him.  He is such a sweet dog.  No trouble at all.  He doesn't bark, he's laid back...but, if he gets outside off his leash he runs across the street to the back kitchen door of Pizza Mambo.  He smells the delicious scents coming from there and he is off like a rocket.  As laid back as he is he sure can run like a rocket to Pizza Mambo.

I'm healing up very, very well.  In about three more weeks I'll start going back to the gym.  That should help with my emotions too.  Very little pain and it looks like the scar will hardly be noticeable.

Today would have been my dad's birthday.  He was born (of course) on halloween.  He would have been 89 years old.  He's been gone now for over 17 years.  He was a very good father and a devoted husband.

I listened to George Michael's version of the song "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" this morning.  It made me think of the first time I saw Ray, kissed Ray, our hearts close to each other in bed.  I cried.  I have moved on to a new life, but I sure do miss him still.  It's just that it's not so painful now. The heavy, wet blankets that I felt over my body and soul are gone, but I miss him.  It's just not every single moment of every single day.  I am glad about that.  Those were very painful and exhausting days.

Tonight I'm having dinner at Friedl's.  It will be good to get out of the house and have dinner somewhere else.  Getting out of the house still helps me escape my issues.

Not sure if I mentioned this, but Drew got a job at the grocery store across the street.  It has been great for him to get back into the workforce.  He seems very happy working there.  I'm happy for him.

This is my update for now.  Happy Halloween!  -  Jimmy

Looking Forwaed To The Fall

Lying in bed right now, ice pack on my wound and Wiley trying to constantly lay on top of me.   He has been sleeping with me every night, all night, curled up in my left arm.  He loves it that I am forced to bed rest...all the more "daddy time" he gets.

My pain is becomming more tolerable.  Friedl took me to Meijer on Sunday to get a prescription filled.  They said it would take 25 minutes so I walked around the store to pick up a few things.  That was too much for me.  So I can probably handle only about a 15 minute walk at a time.

I had a dream about Ray the other night.  He was here "visiting" me.  I was watching him interact with guests and such, it made me feel so happy.  I had been on a ladder watching him and climbed down.  I went to him and hugged him and asked "can't you stay?"  His reply was "no, I can't."  I was so sad I cried.  But...it was a nice short visit that had given me some happiness.

Update:  Wiley has now decided to give in and lie next to me and stare at me.

I did get my financials to my accountant and he got my taxes done last week.  What a relief.  When I had him file an extension in April  I figured I would get everything done and to him by May, but it just didn't happen.  Such a burden off me to have this done.

I have been taken well care of by Tom, Drew and Friedl.  Don't know what I would do without them. In fact, we'll all be spending Thanksgiving together.  Looking forward to the fall.  - Jimmy

Walk Around

Everything we great at the hospital on Tuesday.  We arrived about 10:30 and left about 6:00 p.m.  I was fine about everything until they wheeled me into the operating room.  That is when I started to freak out.  I mentioned this and the OR nurse said "oh, we've got stuff that will take care of that."  As he was putting something in my IV I asked, "is that the stuff Michael Jackson had?"  She replied "no, but you're getting that, it's good stuff...when used appropriately."  I was literally out in seconds.  It seemed like less tha a second later when I heard "Jim, you can wake up, it's done it is 2:50 p.m."  I couldn't believe it. 

When I got home I could not get to sleep, I was up until 4:00 in the morning.  Yesterday was my WORST day of pain.  Today could have been, but it is now starting to subside.  I watched a YOUTUBE video of this type of surgery and now I see why I am in such pain at the incision site.

Last night Candy brought dinner for us.  What a wonderful (and delicious) gesture!  Drew, Tom, Friedl (and especially I) did NOT want to make any dinner or clean up from dinner.  Today I have been resting...ALL DAY in bed.  I can't wait to feel better.

I now know why Ray resisted to walk around when I asked him to.  The pain is so bad that it hurts to walk.  Then your back aches from laying in bed all day.  I've got a long way to go, but hopefully tomorrow I can walk around a bit more.  - Jimmy

I Am Home And Fine

I am home and surgery went great.  Thanks for all your thoughts, prayers and support.  -  Jimmy

In My Life Right Now

I had a great three days in Chicago at Drew's place.  The weather was awesome and we took walks with Jack at the beach, stopped by Karlene's and had lunch with her, and packed some of Drew's stuff up.

The cat's are just starting to "acknowledge" Jack.  They stayed upstairs for three weeks, and today they have all come down.  Wiley and Moscow are on the bed with me in room three and Jack is sleeping on the floor in here.  The "Cat Strike" is over.  Wiley was the scab though, because he was the first to break the barrier and come down.

I have my surgery tomorrow.  Drew and Friedl are coming with me.  I'll be so happy when this is over.  My lump will be gone!!!  I'm having the surgery at Blodgett Hospital in Grand Rapids.  I have to be there at 11:00 and surgery is at 1:00 p.m.  So glad I don't have to get up real early.

That's about all the updates as to what's going on in my life right now. - Jimmy