Eight Years

Christmas just isn't the same since Ray died almost eight years ago.  I try hard.  I decorate to the hilt.  I make Christmas cookies, watch all the traditional shows and movies, and listen to the music.  It's just that the "magic" isn't there.  Probably because Ray loved it so much and he got so into it and that's gone.  Drew does love Christmas but his Huntington's Disease does seem to leave him limited on showing much emotion or excitement.  So I don't have the shared enthusiasm level.  I do try to make it as special as possible for Drew and me but life sure has changed.  His disease makes him very introverted and it's difficult for me as a very extroverted person.  I struggle to try to draw him out.  I think he may even be a little intimidated by my extrovertedness (is that a word?). 

This year I will be making my grandma's "Dobos Torte."  Although I don't make it exactly like the one described on the Wikipedia page, it does taste exactly like the one I ate in Vienna.  My grandmother used German Chocolate (which ironically is named after the inventor of the chocolate, Samuel German...not the country of Germany).  It appears to have been a Hungarian baker who came up with the recipe and Franz Joseph, Emperor of Austria and King of Hungary was one of the first to taste it.  Being that my grandfather was from Austria it makes sense my grandmother would make that at Christmas time.  My sister said my grandmother and her mother-in-law got along quite well and she probably shared this recipe with her. 

In spite of all these feelings I am sharing, I do love and look forward to Christmas and try to make it as special as possible.  Eight years.... - Jimmy