Today was a difficult day for me. I woke about 5:30 a.m. Look outside and saw snow. For some reason my mind went to the evening of Ray's death. Emotion overtook me...I broke down and cried. Thoughts of January 3, 2010...9:10 p.m. It was reliving "hell." I fell back to sleep...a deep sleep. I awoke feeling emotionional.
This afternoon I went to my financial consultant to take care of moving some stock Ray had in Prudential. He showed me how we have moved Ray's IRA's into mine and how his accounts were mingled into mine....his name showing fewer and fewer on our financial statements. It was too much for me. Tears started but I held them back as much as I could. When I left the office I broke down in the car. I cried hard. It just seems that this will never end. It's like a knife still slowly stabbing me...reminding me that Ray is gone and will never be back. Slowly being erased from my life.
Today is also the 16th anniversary of my dad's death. Not that this had any effect on my emotional status today...but maybe it did.
I guess one can never get over the death of their spouse/partner. I miss Ray so much. I am trying to live a new life....but memories make it hard. - Jimmy
I am sorry to hear that. But pls cheer up, as someday u will see Ray again. He just moved to another place and he is waiting for u. Sometimes life is hard but it is still beautiful most of the time.
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