Ever since Ray died I have relied on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medication. Five plus years. A little over a month ago I decided it was time to stop. I can't tell you how much more emotions and feelings I have. For five years I felt "numb." The medication did it's job. I see now why a side affect of these medications is "thoughts of suicide." You get to a point where you don't really have any deep feelings. Since then I laugh more, cry more and have this deep sense of feeling!
Today was one of those days. I was walking my dog Harley and took a picture of him. I decided to post it on Facebook. When I opened the Facebook app on my phone I saw the news! "Supreme Court Rules Same Sex Marriage Law of the Land." I couldn't believe it! A rush went through my body. I teared up, excited. I teared up, wishing Ray was here to see this day. I quickly called my mom...no answer. I couldn't wait to tell Drew. I got back from the walk and said to Drew, "...today we can legally get married." Then I told him that this was not a proposal. LOL. He understood, the United States of America was the 21st country to legally allow "gay marriage."
When I first realized I was gay I never, never, ever even thought the idea of "gay marriage" would be discussed, let alone become legal. I am speechless today! Truly speechless.
On the way home from work I stopped at the cemetery. I got out and "talked" to Ray. I told him what a great thing happened today. I wish he was here.
For the first time in a very long time I am proud of our country. Thank you SCOTUS! - Jimmy
You are lucky you have a mom and Drew to call.
ReplyDeleteAnd you experienced love some will never find.
You are still connected to Ray through Love.
Sending light and love your way, dear boy.