Little Pieces of Paper

It's Saturday night, but it feel's like Sunday night.  I've had guests every night this last week, with five rooms on Thursday night.  So, Thursday felt like a Friday, Friday felt like a Saturday and since all rooms left today...it felt like Sunday today.

I had a dream about Ray last night.  We had an argument and he said he was leaving.  He left and I hadn't heard from him in a couple days.  I was getting worried and was really missing him.  I called the restaurant he used to work at and asked to speak with him, they said he wasn't there but I could leave a message.  I was then walking down a street and saw him looking at a couple pieces of wicker furntiure.  He saw me, pointed to one and said "this would look nice on the porch."  I said "but you're not staying are you?"  He asked "what do you mean?"  I said, "you left me you're not coming back are you?"  He said "yes I am" and came over and hugged me.  I was soooooooo happy.  He looked so good and it made me feel so good.  Then I thought "What about Drew?  What will I tell Ray?  What will I tell Drew?"  Then I realized Ray was dead.  Reality set into my dream.  I knew Ray couldn't come back, dead is dead.  Oddly enought I felt a sense of relief.  Relief that I didn't have a big old mess to sort out.  The dream ended.  It was so nice to see and hug Ray last night.

Yesterday Friedl, Drew and I went to get a tree for the parlor.  It's all set up now but needs the lights and ornaments.  This morning I was in the basement getting the boxes out.  I found a bag of some used bows and "to/from" tags.  They were the tags from the gifts the last year Ray and I spent Christmas together, 2009.  When we first met I always put odd names on the to/from tags.  Instead of just..."To Ray, From Jim."  I would put something like "To:  The Chef - From:  The Banker" or "To:  The Gardener - From:  The Photographer."  Thus refrencing other duties or hobbies of ours.  Ray, of course, eventually caught on and did the same.  I want to share the names on the tags from our last Christmas together:

GIFTS FROM ME TO RAY:
To: The Survivor
From:  Your "Blogger"

To: Ray or Raymond or Rick
From:  Jimmy
(This was in reference to a joke from one the nurses he had)

To:  The Music Man
From:  The Web Master

To:  Mondo Verone
From:  James P

To:  Ho, Ho, Ho, Raymone
Form:  The World's Best Substitute Teacher (...or that's what the kids say)

To:  My Bionic Man
From:  Jim-Bo
(In reference to his defibulator)

To:  The C.S.I. Detective
From:  Judge Judy's Biggest Fan
(Our favorite Shows, CSI:  Miami -Ray's favorite, and Judge Judy - my favorite)

To:  Mondo Verone
From:  Wiley, Amity, Gabby and Moscow

To:  My Dreamer/Believer
From:  Jimmy

FROM RAY TO ME
To:  Mr. Blog
From:  Mr. Flowers
(Referencing the blog I started and the fact that he was getting so many get-well flowers)

To:  Nurse Gowran
From:  Patient Raymond

I will cherish these little pieces of paper forever.