It was two and a half years ago TODAY I lost Ray. I feel really sad at this moment. But I know the sadness will not last long. I have busy days ahead and I move on. The length of time since his death hit me yesterday afternoon. I was taking a walk with Drew and I began to think about how long it's been. I just can't believe it! How can it be "years" now? It NEVER seems like years. It seems like it just happened. Yet I know it didn't just happen. Everything I have been through to get to this point has taken time...lots of time.
I know I am healing. I joined a gym last week. I've realized that it's time I take care of me...physically. I think I went through such a self deprecating period that I didn't care about my weight too much. I wasn't happy with my appearance but I didn't care enough to do anything about it. Now I care. I want to look and feel better. If only for me. I've lost seven pounds since spring and four of that since I joined the gym. I'm also tracking my progress through a program they have online along with a monitor I wear every day. I hook the monitor up to my computer and it tracks my "points". Without going through too much detail it helps motivate me to move more. Get more exercise even when I'm not at the gym. Then I can track my progress online.
I've got a busy week ahead...it is the July 4th rush! I'm looking forward to it.
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