I made it through Thanksgiving! It was really a great day. My friend Drew helped me chop, dice and slice through all the ingredients and I made my very first turkey. (The turkey was the easiest part. It was a "Jennie-O" brand turkey labeled "from freezer to oven to perfect." And it was!) Friedl came over about 2:00 p.m. and the three of us had dinner about 4:30.
I felt great all day until about 11:45. Friedl left and my mind started to wander. Tears, of course, flowed. I guess the release is still needed. It builds up slowly now - and then it needs to be let go. I am moving forward though. I'm taking baby steps to move my life along rather than just "surviving" on a daily basis.
Marguerite went to Detroit to be with the Riker family for Thanksgiving. I was invited there as well other friends' and families homes. However, I just did not want to be away from the house. It was bad enough last night at 11:45 p.m. If I had gone somewhere and come home alone I would probably have had a breakdown.
Today is the traditional day Ray and I would go and get the real Christmas tree. I am going to continue that tradition. I did't think I would this year, but the Christmas spirit is starting to build up in me. I hope I can keep a handle on my emotions as I unpack the boxes of decorations...and boxes of memories. I'm sure tears will surely fall, but it will be another step forward and yet more release of the sadness. - Jimmy
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