Friday, November 26, 2010

Boxes of Memories

I made it through Thanksgiving!  It was really a great day.  My friend Drew helped me chop, dice and slice through all the ingredients and I made my very first turkey.  (The turkey was the easiest part.  It was a "Jennie-O" brand turkey labeled "from freezer to oven to perfect."  And it was!)  Friedl came over about 2:00 p.m. and the three of us had dinner about 4:30. 

I felt great all day until about 11:45.  Friedl left and my mind started to wander.  Tears, of course, flowed.  I guess the release is still needed.  It builds up slowly now - and then it needs to be let go.  I am moving forward though.  I'm taking baby steps to move my life along rather than just "surviving" on a daily basis. 

Marguerite went to Detroit to be with the Riker family for Thanksgiving.  I was invited there as well other friends' and families homes.  However, I just did not want to be away from the house.  It was bad enough last night at 11:45 p.m.  If I had gone somewhere and come home alone I would probably have had a breakdown. 

Today is the traditional day Ray and I would go and get the real Christmas tree.  I am going to continue that tradition.  I did't think I would this year, but the Christmas spirit is starting to build up in me.  I hope I can keep a handle on my emotions as I unpack the boxes of decorations...and boxes of memories.  I'm sure tears will surely fall, but it will be another step forward and yet more release of the sadness.  - Jimmy

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