Counting My Blessings

Today I went through a bag of old cards.  Birthday cards, Christmas cards, "new job" cards and mostly cards from Ray.  Birthday, Valentine's, Sweetheart and miscellaneous cards.  How amazing to go through those.  I have all the original cards he sent me back when we first started to officially date in September/October/November of 1989.  There was so much love poured out in those cards it made me cry.  I cried because I miss having someone around who loves me like that.  However, having those cards to look back at is a blessing to me.

So, as I stated yesterday, I am going to list some of the things I am thankful for.  Here are some:

• Having the cards Ray gave to me over the years
• Having had as wonderful of a realtionship two people could have for 21 years
• Knowing Ray did not have to suffer a long and difficult battle
• My close and dear friends who have taken me under their wings
• Ray's wonderful family
• My wonderful family
• My great guests/friends
• Through God, Ray has made sure I'm taken care of financially for now (we made sure both of us would be "ok" for a couple years without having that stress)
• My cats
• My nice home/business
• A good mode of transportation
• The beautiful days God gives each day
• Costco
• Sam's Club
• Big Lot's
• TJ Maxx
• Judge Judy
• The internet
• Videos of Ray
• Pictures of Ray
• The great vacations we took together
• Special time's spent with my mom
• People who care about me
• My health
• Wonderful Food
• Lake Michigan
• Chocolate/Peanut Butter Ice Cream

I guess this list is more like a "blessings" and "things I'm thankful for" list. 

I so cherished my life with Ray that it is just very difficult to move on.  I know it appears so on the outside but inside I just can't let him go.  I never will.  - Jimmy