Home Alone

I am sitting on the front porch.  It's a beautiful evening.  I am home alone.  Guests have gone to dinner and Marguerite is in Detroit visiting family.  It's nice.  Some alone time will be good for me.  Tonight I plan to go to Ray's grave and water the grass we planted.  Then I will come home and finish watering the gardens and potted plants.  For dinner I will have my leftovers from the other night.  I made sauteed port tenderloin with diced apples, shallots and raisins.  The sauce that is with it is wonderful!

Yesterday I missed Ray so much.  I love looking at his name...RAY.  I saw a refrigerator magnet of a chef with the name RAY on it today in the kitchen.  I smiled.  I love to look at his name and his writing.  I was just going over some recipes I found and they are all in his writing.  On the top of one recipe it said "From Mondo's Recipe Book of Creative Genius."  Mondo was one of the names he gave himself.  His "rock star" name...Mondo Verone.  At the bottom of the recipe he wrote "bon appetit!"  I know it has been eight months since he died but I just still can't get a grip on that fact.  I never knew how much of an impact it would have on me if he was ever out of my life.  I truly never knew.  I thought I was a "big boy" and would be able to accept death.  I always knew that one of us would die before the other (unless we  both died in a tragic accident or something).  I figured that I would be able to accept it and move on.  It's not that way.  And maybe because he died so young and so fast.  I don't know.  But I do know that I miss him.  I miss him terribly.  I'm sure that those who are reading this are starting to get tired of hearing that, but it is how I feel.  There is so much I want to share with him and tell him.  It will have to wait until we are in heaven together.  - Jimmy

PS:  Hello to Raguoc!