The Things I Miss

Last night I went to the Grand Rapids Airport to pick up my friend Friedl.  They have a "cell phone parking" area for people waiting to pick up passengers.  You park and wait until you get the cell phone call that they have their luggage and are ready to be picked up.  It works out great.

As I sat in the car and waited I was thinking about the times Ray and I would be arriving at the Grand Rapids Airport and picking uo our luggage from a wonderful trip.  It occurred to me that it was such a mundane task which I miss terribly.  Probably more so because it can never happen again.  Then I sat and thought about the things I miss. 

Here are some of the things I miss:

• Waiting for our luggage at the airport after a wonderful trip somewhere
• Holding hands
• A morning kiss
• His excitement on Christmas morning
• Ray buying a newspaper on Thanksgiving and Christmas so he can see the top headline "Happy Thanksgiving" or "Merry Christmas"
• Hearing him come up the back steps onto the porch
• His smile
• His reassurance when I was worried
• His asking "how much did you spend" when I came home from the Dollar Tree
• They way he called out Moscow's name when he wanted her to come in
• Watching Desperate Housewives together
• Watching Cash Cab together
• His dinners
• Going to the Outlet Mall in Michigan City together
• Our Mackinac Island fall vacations
• The touch of his leg on mine
• The security of our relationship
• Sitting together on the front porch after a long day and having a big ole' cocktail
• Watching him walk across the street from the grocery store
• His big laugh (when he thought something was funny...you knew)
• Going to the DCI (Drum Corps International) shows together the last couple years
• Going out to eat together (we LOVED to do that)
• His childish ways (and I mean that in a GOOD way)
• His reliance on me to take care of and plan things
• His love for all creatures - especially our cats
• Coming home to him after a day of subbing
• Walks on the beach together
• His simple ways
• Making the trip to buy the Christmas tree every year
• Our unconditional love
• His smile (yes, again)
• The fact that I will never see hm again in this life

I could go on and on.  This is the tip of the ice-berg.  In spite of all those around me, I still feel so lonesome at times.  Even in a group gathering I can feel all alone. 

This blog is not meant to be a "downer" - just me sharing my thoughts.  Updating my life to those who seem to care.  Today I just wanted to share the things I miss about my relationship with Ray.  And, in spite of all that, I have so much to be thankful to God for.  SO MUCH!!  He has blessed me through all of this in so many ways.  I will think of those blessings tonight and blog about them tomorrow.  The list of blessings just may be bigger.  God has taken very, very good care of me.  - Jimmy