It's 4:50 a.m. I can't sleep. I've been up since 3:30 a.m. My mind whirls. I think about New Year's last year. I think about the day/moment I found Ray dead. I think about the funeral. My mind whirls. I get sick to my stomach. Some days I feel so good about moving on and then I hit a point where I stop and step back a little. I guess this will go on for a while. It's important for me to write these things down so I can get these feelings out and organized. Maybe it will help me get back to sleep so I can have a productive day. I know that writing down my feelings will help me in the future. I will be able to look back and see my progress.
I have a pretty busy week. Monday I am taking Marguerite to the hospital for surgery on her foot. I am going to Detroit on Tuesday to hook up my mom's TiVo to her cable. It will be nice to see her. I am coming home on Wednesday. On Thursday I am picking up guests from the train station in Holland, Karlene and Drew. Then we're already into the weekend. The busy week will help keep my mind occupied.
Fall is in full swing. I am now approaching the dreadful "one year" anniversaries..."a year ago today...." Dates I will never forget....November 9, November 10, November 19, November 20, December 4, December 11, December 22, December 29, December 31, January 2, January 3, January 8.....They are cast in stone in my memory. Each one of those days I can relive....I can tell you exactly what happened on those days in 2009/2010. I dread their approach, but will be happy when they are over. I will have survived a year. It gives me hope. - Jimmy
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