A year ago today at 9:30 a.m. I put Ray to his final resting place. The Douglas Cemetery. I went today and talked to him. I updated him on things that were going on. In fact, yesterday I told him things that made me angry about him. I'm sure he would have told me my faults too if he could have spoken. Maybe he did but I can't hear him. It was a great release. Both yesterday and today. As of now, I have made it a full year through this journey. It almost seems like now I have reached a milestone on my journey and am ready to look at my map and chart a new course. A fresh course. One that I can look forward to. One in which I can smile and create new experiences.
My cat Wiley has been following me around like my shadow. I think he is just so lonely. He used to spend the day with his sister. They would sleep/nap together. They would groom each other. He would play (or antagonize) with Gabby, spend time with Ray or me. Now, it's just him, Moscow and me. As I type this I am sitting in one chair in the parlor annd he is sitting in the other one right next to me. I love him so much. I've told the cats that our lives have changed and we all need to adjust to the changes and get along. Do they understand me? I think in some way they do.
My big decision of the day is what to have for dinner. How nice is that!! Over the last year I have had to make such big decisions. Now it's a basic, normal thing...what to eat for dinner. I could just cry thinking how nice this is. But right now I have no emotion. I just feel good. I've made it. Now I will continue on, with many more forks in my road ahead. This journey has strengthened me though. I will be stronger with my next challenge. - Jimmy
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