Sunday, January 9, 2011

A Final Rest and A Full Year

A year ago today at 9:30 a.m. I put Ray to his final resting place.  The Douglas Cemetery.  I went today and talked to him.  I updated him on things that were going on.  In fact, yesterday I told him things that made me angry about him.  I'm sure he would have told me my faults too if he could have spoken.  Maybe he did but I can't hear him.  It was a great release.  Both yesterday and today.  As of now, I have made it a full year through this journey.  It almost seems like now I have reached a milestone on my journey and am ready to look at my map and chart a new course.  A fresh course.  One that I can look forward to.  One in which I can smile and create new experiences. 

My cat Wiley has been following me around like my shadow.  I think he is just so lonely.  He used to spend the day with his sister.  They would sleep/nap together.  They would groom each other.  He would play (or antagonize) with Gabby, spend time with Ray or me.  Now, it's just him, Moscow and me.  As I type this I am sitting in one chair in the parlor annd he is sitting in the other one right next to me.  I love him so much.  I've told the cats that our lives have changed and we all need to adjust to the changes and get along.  Do they understand me?  I think in some way they do.

My big decision of the day is what to have for dinner.  How nice is that!!  Over the last year I have had to make such big decisions.  Now it's a basic, normal thing...what to eat for dinner.  I could just cry thinking how nice this is.  But right now I have no emotion.  I just feel good.  I've made it.  Now I will continue on, with many more forks in my road ahead.  This journey has strengthened me though.  I will be stronger with my next challenge.  - Jimmy

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