Friday, January 7, 2011

Home Alone

I am home alone.  Marguerite left to visit a friend for almost a week and Drew took the train back to Chicago.  Believe it or not I am looking forward to being alone in the days ahead.  I've kept busy and so my mind is occupied.  I now need some alone time at this anniversary of Ray's death.  I need time to think, reflect, and look at where my life is going. 

Drew helped me take down the decorations and the one big tree.  I love it when all the decorations are down and the house is clean.  It's like a fresh start to a new year!  I've rearranged the furniture in the parlor and I think I like it.  I like to make changes like that...it makes my surroundings seem "fresh."  Today I will start to take down the crystal/purple tree.  Then, as I put the boxes away I will start to clean up that basement. 

Last winter I didn't do any projects.  I was too much in grief.  This year I plan to do some winter projects around the house.  One thing I plan to do is paint the kitchen.  Ray picked out the color currently on the walls.  I never really did like it, but that was his work place so I didn't say a word. 

I feel very happy today.  I really never thought the day would come.  Deep down inside I knew it would (or should), but at the time it sure didn't feel like I would ever feel "happy" again.  - Jimmy

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