Good Bye Ray - January 8, 2010

January 8.  My late brother, David's, birthday.  Elvis Presley's birthday.  Most important, to me, the day that the love of my life was remembered at his funeral.  It's not the day I buried him however, because when we got to the cemetery they had dug the wrong grave.  Therefore, one more day of yet remembering Ray's time here on earth.  (In a sense.  Since his last real day here on earth was January 3, 2010.) 

January 8 2010.  Extreme cold, extreme wind, and extreme blizzard conditions.  I can remember the day probably better than I can remember yesterday.  I feel pretty good right now but I'm sure I will shed some tears today. 

I slept in room three last night.  I spent almost four months in that room last year becuase I had such a hard time sleeping in "our" bed alone.  Marguerite had given me this scented candle that sat on the nightstand next to the bed.  I lit it only once, but I could get a faint smell of that candle for all those four months.  I put that candle on the same nightstand yet again last night.  The scent brings back memories of last year.  For some reason, it seems like I was "closer" to Ray last January, February and March.  Since it was so close to his time being alive, it just felt like I was still cloer to him at that time.  It seems that as time goes by I get further from him.  It's not true.  I'm not any closer or further...but my mind plays it like that.  So, sleeping in room three and smelling the scent of that candle makes me feel good.  It makes me think of last year...in a good way, not a bad way. 

I might go to downtown Grand Rapids today for a big antique show at the DeVoss Hall.  It all depends on how I feel.  I may just feel like staying home.  The snow has now just started to fall and I don't want to drive in blizzard conditions.

The view I have in this room is amazing.  The beautiful, big bay window is right in my view.  The snow is falling and it feels like I am in a giant snow globe.  I love this room. 

Good Bye Ray.  - Jimmy