"A Single Man." After George finds out his partner Jim has died he hangs up the phone with almost no emotion. He lives in the 1960's where gay people are NOT accepted as part of society. He runs to his best friend's house, a woman named Charley. There you see he can express himself openly to her. He breaks down. An intense scene.
When I was told Ray had "passed" I fell to my feet. It was as if they turned liquid. I cried so hard. I knew the feeling that George was experiencing. You want to stop the clock. You don't want to hear the message. If you don't know then it isn't reality. In my heart I had the feeling that Ray had died while the paramedics where in there with him, but I felt "hope" as long as I didn't KNOW that he had passed. It was hell.
I cried deeply last night. Drew and I ended up eating at Everyday People Cafe last night. It was a beautiful spring night. During the entire dinner there I couldn't help but think about how Ray and I would eat there talking about the upcoming season. My heart started to ache. When we got back to Kirby House we went out back at the pool. The sun was setting, the pool was nice and warm. I thought about the times Ray and I would be out back there enjoying the evening, the upcoming season, the fact that we were doing "what we wanted to do." I broke down. I started to cry so hard I called Marguerite and asked her to come by. She has been my savior in this. I feel close to Ray when I am with her (and any of her family). I move on with my life, my grief, my future. - Jimmy
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